When you are on a journey

When you are on a journey, there is a lot to see

When you are on a journey, there is a lot new to feel

When you are on a journey, you believe there is always an end, middle and beginning

When you are on a journey, there is excitement

What happens, when it is a journey of self discovery ?

What happens, when you are going nowhere new, but into the depths of your own self ?

What happens when the frustrations, the excitement and the worry you feel, is all within ?

In a tumultuous concoction of you

In a tumultuous concoction of your being

Where is the beginning, is it your birth or your dawn of consciousness ?

Or is it when you start trying to explain yourself to you?

What about the middle ?

Is it just that long period of time where you are frustrated that you cannot get your head around  you ?

Or is it in the shadow,  the intermittent zone between dark and light ?

What about the end ?

Do you ever know yourself inside out ?

Is it when you no longer see yourself in  the third person ?

 

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Finding a new voice

A new home

A new life

A new sun

A new task

Icy roads shimmering in this new life

Cold winds carrying my thoughts

The sun is bright but the air is cold

New faces in a new found place

New rhymes for a newly bought notebook

Feels like a chance to reinvent oneself

Wear new clothes

Bring new thoughts

Reimagine the world I want

For all this I believe a new voice is needed

Trying to find it and shape it as it grows from the old

As a new leaf growing from an old branch

A branch of memories

A branch of joy

A branch that holds my self in place

As it has done for many years

As it will do for many more to come

Oh new voice,

Where art thou..

Rekindling old friendships

Rekindling old friendships is like growing new roots in the same soil.
Rekindling old memories is like playing the same old tapes and listening to some old tunes.

Rekindling old feelings is thinking about past places of belonging and waiting for wafts of old smells in places

For the travellers amongst us this happens almost all the time 

Switching between memories, living in them today , making some for tomorrow with no concepts of today ,

The growing up 

The greying of hair 

The faces we gather into our memories, 

The affections that bond us together 

The sounds and smells 

The places that amaze us 

They all bring us back to this melting pot of memories , of hopes from the past, our vision for the future,

A need to belong in our skins 

Our today

Our reality 

And an acceptance of the essence of our existence in the past , the present and

future.

Do you know much about family, you fool!

Do you know much about family, you fool!

Do you know what it means to be together?

Do you know that the same roof over our head doesn’t mean we are a family?

There is pain

There is suffering

There is that combined notion of sharing a meal without caring if you had enough

There is a rude shock when people don’t talk

Do you know much about family, you fool!

Do you know what it means to be together?

I can hear those thoughts in your mind

I can see those white hair on your head

Do you think you can start a new family?

Do you have the capacity to be strong,

Be strong when your kid is crying

Be strong when you can’t bring home food

Be strong when your right is your son’s wrong and when his right is yours

Do you know much about family, you fool!

Do you know what it means to be together ?

You saw your father pick you up when you fall

You saw him breakdown when you were sick

He worked all his life to help you find your footing

He is now an old man, still working on ghosts from his past

Do you know much about family, you fool!

Do you know what it means to be together ?

He is now an old man, still standing by you.

In his right, and in his wrong!

You talk of lofty ideals,

you talk of grand vistas,

you talk about your never ending quest for the good, the ideal world and the eons stretching in front of you.

He is still there, watching out for you

Asking you to hold on,

Asking you to fly, biting his lips, with white knuckles

He stands proud when you do fly,

He stands with a watchful gaze,

He screams inside in his anger when he can’t do his best,

He breaks down like you and me, when we don’t get what we want.

Do you think you can start a family, you fool!

Do you know what it means to be together?

Think again!

Think again! as there is no going back

Think again! as it is necessary to give more than you receive

Think again about your selfish self.

Do you know much about family, you fool!

Do you know what it means to be together ?

Looking for a new road

As all the paths converged to an end that seemed inevitable,

As many miles walked

Pain, hardship and foolish optimism had brought the traveller to this point

There was a big question.

A question about where he found himself

A question about how he got there

Listening to his travelling companion

He heard himself think aloud. 

“Am I wrong?”

“Did I take a wrong turn?”

As he didn’t see any way out of this long path that he had walked..

He pondered and squandered his chances under pressure… 

As there was an unexpected quiet before the storm 

There was a battle to be fought. 

The maiden on a summer’s twilight

The sun shone on the water’s surface ,
Gently peeking was a summer’s twilight sun
He kissed the soft, bare shoulders of a damsel from a place of beauty
A beauty in its peaceful existence as a timeless snapshot of warm hues.
pale,
sepia coloured.

Reflecting in this beauty of the moment ,
Drops of water trickled down the curves of her sultry back
Her bosom
And her naked torso towering above the water’s surface.
Her hair tied in a knot, taut.
Stoic in her posture,
Pensive

As she stretched her arms upwards, towards the sky, to tighten her hair, running her hands on the back of her head,
The sun light catches glimpse of a narrow band of black on her right wrist,
A band of strength
A band that usually holds her beautiful hair together.
She stood there in the water close to the water’s edge, and
Pouring tepid water on her head, her shoulders and her body ,
Tracing a path that the water made
Softly with her finger tips,
atune to the warmth of the water,
her body, and her heart that ran at a pace that was calm.
Aware
And reflective.

As she stood there with a sombre remembrance of her love lost,
A love difficult,
A love whole.
Carrying a heavy burden in her heart within,
Feeling her loss in her gut.
There wasn’t a teardrop that could lighten her feeling of loss,

As she stood there in the water
Still warm from the hot day,
Watching the sun’s demise ,
awaiting the moon,
awaiting his nature.

The edge of order and beginning of chaos

There is beauty here in this order
There is effervescence in chaos
Random elements crash into each other as
Stable tenements are held by pillars of strength in symmetry
In reliance
In order
The smooth edges of one lay bare as they stand against the rough grain of the other
The abrasion
The collision and
the erosion.
Fringes of these create an unreal beauty
That takes shape in another dimension
As order gets fuzzy and disorder falls in line
It seems that the boundaries are hazy
And fractal in their appearance.
Beautiful
Disordered but still ordered
Chaotic
Poetic

My weak heart

My heart cools down like smoldering embers,
cooled by the night’s cold winds,
when the moon is darkened by the shadows of the clouds so high,
and the chill spreads pervasively
for my love I have never been so far away from you,
the longing for your warm breath on my lips aches my heart,
I remember our parting so long ago,
I remember your face lit up in the pale candle light,
placid like the water on the lake,
calm on the outside,
reflective, collective.

It pains me as I write these words,
These letters in the sunset of today,
for I do not know if I can bear our parting anymore.
for I do not know if I can live again

Effervescent lines

So it seems like an after thought.
An epilogue to a life so bright,
For the effervescence of the crimson line fades away with time,
Clear skies
cloudless days
Pale shadows and
a fragrance rules the mind,
Clears my sight
Invites your presence
Calms my ignorance
Of your reality
Immortality
A clarity it brings to my heart
Something which was broken so long ago
Something which found its loose ends.

Tie em together
Sew them right
Paint your colours
Lay them straight .
Hold your gaze
With my face
Hold me tight,
Till everything is right
Sorted
Ordered
And in line,
For love you don’t come with a reason
Taking shape of the vessel that holds you
Moulds you
Ties you
Fills you
To your form
Your reality
Your insanity and therefore my reality